A Tiring Process Called Change

Change a word which can either terrify you or fill you with hope. And sometimes it can do both. Change is intimidating, it is like waking yourself up from a deep sleep. A deep sleep where you have settled down and you feel peaceful and tranquil. But then we must wake up and we must walk or drive to our offices, schools or colleges. We don’t know how the day is going to be and we don’t know what challenges are awaiting us, yet we keep moving.

If we think carefully we change every day. No one will think the same thoughts in two different days. Routines are for bodies but what about your mind. Can you really condition your mind into thinking the same thoughts every single day? I really do not think so. This is change on a micro level. We may not notice these changes at all.

But what about life changing decisions. They do intimidate us and maybe they make us want to withdraw from everything rather than trying to utilise whatever we can. What should we really do? How do we face it? Trust me I haven’t myself figured it out yet.

I am a person whom everyone wants to change and it’s like every person wants me to change. I am not going to lie it annoys me so much. Why can’t they understand me and accept me as I am? This very question hit me. That was the day I realised that I didn’t accept myself at all, all I wanted to do was make excuses for my flaws. Make compulsive apologies about my behaviour and I was just generating sympathy and a need for suggestions I didn’t really want.

I am antisocial, I am not shy, maybe I need to try to be a little more social. See I know exactly what I want to change in myself. But what stops me from doing it is self-doubt. There are people who make a big deal about my anti-social behaviour and some who just say that its phase. In these situations, I do not know whom to believe in.

I am not saying that I am an expert but before any change we need to have confidence. Confidence ,here, is a believe and a trust which have in yourself. Everyone else can go to hell. Well not literally the sweet ones can go to heaven. Well jokes apart and stupid prying people kept aside. Whenever someone asks you to change wait a minute and think do you want that change or not. If not just smile and get OUT OF THERE. If you think that they are right in a way. Keep it in mind. Remember that you need to have your own list of things YOU, I REPEAT YOU! WANT TO CHANGE IN YOURSELF. If these people are helping you, the smartest thing is to listen to them, if not just get out of there. You know yourself more than others do not ever doubt that.

Contradicting my own title, change isn’t a tiring process but recognising what needs to be changed in a precise manner, that my friends is the tiring aspect of the process.


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